Posts tagged humor

Top 10 Signs You Have a Terrible Hosting Provider

  1. They boast of their “multi-homed SLIP” connectivity
  2. They’re proud to provide both types of power, volts and amps
  3. Each rack is supplied with its own extension cord and ground plug adapter
  4. Their climate control system is an open window and a $10 box fan
  5. They try to sell you a “virtual rail kit”
  6. Private cages can be used for fights on the weekends
  7. Their tech support email address ends in
  8. Their fire suppression system is a “No Smoking” sign
  9. Their security system reads “Beware of Shih-Tzu”
  10. Their backup system involves WinZip and BitTorrent
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Virtual Phobias

Paraskevidekatriaphobia is the fear of Friday the 13th. To mark the date this year, I thought I’d look at some other phobias of the modern computing world.

Fourofourophobia – The fear that the web page you were looking at just yesterday and need again today will not be found.

Keanuphobia – The fear that, if computers and servers can be virtualized, perhaps the whole world has been virtualized and you’re just a digital construct living a digital life. For some people, this is less a phobia and more wishful thinking that they could learn kung-fu with a phone call, if only they knew the right number.

Memephobia – The fear of lolcats, cheezburgers, badgers, zombies, and Rick Astley. Not an altogether irrational phobia, but never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

Technonephophobia – The fear that the cloud is actually a cloud in the sky, constantly watching you and tracking your movements from above. It’s not, of course. It’s probably a poor metaphor, anyway.

Txtofobia – The fear that you have, or will, completely lose the ability to spell words normally. Kthxbai.

Virtualiphobia – The fear that your virtualized servers might disappear without a trace, as if they’d never existed. In actuality, our vmForge cluster is extremely reliable and has built-in redundancy. Your servers aren’t going anywhere unless the hardware node fails and High-Availability automatically kicks them over to another node. For even more protection, LogicMonitor provides a calm reassuring voice (with charts) that everything’s fine, and CrashPlan provides scheduled backups of your data.

ICANN to Expand IPv4 Address Space by April

Having successfully implemented its plan to expand the list of generic top-level domains (beginning Jan 12th, anyone with $185,000 burning a hole in their pocket can apply to create the .spork gTLD), the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers has now announced a plan to similarly expand the IPv4 address system.

IPv4 uses 32-bit (four-byte) addresses, such as, which limits the network to approximately 4 billion unique addresses. As the Internet has grown, this address space has been progressively consumed, to the point where there are almost no IPv4 addresses left to be assigned.

To resolve this, ICANN has proposed that new network identifiers (the highest byte of an IP address) be created and distributed to the regional registries. Where the current address space ends at, this proposal would open up higher networks and addresses such as, 403.0.0.1, and 511.0.0.1 for immediate use. This would effectively double the current address space and put off address exhaustion for at least another year.

Eventually, non-numeric networks such as apple.0.0.1 might even be possible, or CIDR blocks such as apple.iigs.0.0/16.

ICANN intends to push aggressively for the plan, despite early criticism from network providers that its bogus, poop-headed, and unworkable. Further, Chrysler has already threatened a trademark lawsuit unless the entire 300 network is handed over to it. There is some concern that if the Chrysler suit is successful, it could prompt a similar suit from Ferrari which would decimate the new address space.

If the proposal is approved by ICANN directors, the new networks and addresses would become available on April 1st of next year.

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